None of that Sissy Stuff

 Are you tired of those

 sissy  'friendship' poems  

that always sound good, 

  but never actually come close 

to reality? 

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of

True Friendship. 

You WON'T see   

cutesy little smiley faces 

on this card- 

Just the stone cold truth 

 of our great friendship. 

1. When you are sad, 

I will jump on the person 

who made you sad 

like a spider monkey 

jacked up on Mountain Dew!!! 

2. When you are blue, 

I will try to dislodge 

whatever is choking you. 

3. When you smile, 

I will know you are 

plotting something 

that I must be involved in. 

4. When you are scared,

we will high tail it out of here. 

5. When you are worried, 

I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse 

 it could be until you 

 quit whining, ya big baby!!!! 

6. When you are confused, 

I will use little words. 

7. When you are sick, 

Stay away from me 

until you are well again. 

I don't want whatever you have....... 

8. When you fall, 

I'll pick you up 

and dust you off-- 

After I laugh my rear off!! 

9. This is my oath... 

I pledge it to the end. 

'Why?' you may ask; 

 -- because you are my FRIEND! 

*********************** 
Friendship is like peeing your pants, 

everyone can see it, 

but only YOU 

 can feel the 

true warmth. 

********************** 

Try sending this to 

10 

of your closest friends ... 

including the person 

who sent this to you .... 

Then, get depressed 

'cause you can only think of 

4!