A Cat's Dictionary  

Aquarium: interactive television for cats.  

Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.  

Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.  

Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.  

Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.  

Dog: a cat's device for running practice.  

Im-purr-sonate: to act like the cat.  

Purr-ade: an organized march of cats.  

Purr-adise: the garden of Cats.  

Purr-amour: a cat lover.  

Purr-anoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.  

Purr-aphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.  

Purr-ch: any favored feline napping spot.  

Purr-chase: anything bought for a cat.  

Purr-fume: the scent of an open can of tuna.  

Purr-gatory: a houseful of kittens.  

Purr-mission: a feline hunting expedition.  

Purr-petual: everlasting feline love.  

Purr-plex: a house with two or more cats.  

Purr-son: a male kitten.  

Purr-suit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.  

Purr-verse: a poem about a wicked kitty.  

Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.  

Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Creation Myth

On the first day of creation, God created the cat.  

On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.  
  
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.  

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.  

On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.  

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.  

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litter box.